Had an interesting morning today talking with parents of elementary/ middle school who experienced a community moment where the diversity of their community was undermined. That was wordy wasn’t it? Yes, and intentional too!
To give you some more information, yesterday two boys (one white, one Mexican) were having a disagreement in class. Going back and forth when a third boy, who also happened to be white, decided to advocate of his white friend by saying to the Mexican boy “Well at least he’s going to be something in life. You’re just a dirty, dirty Mexican!” At this point of escalation a fourth boy who happened to be African American jumped up and decided he had enough and left the classroom to find an authority figure.
Wow. What an unfortunate but realistic example of what is happening in our world today. What is to blame? Who is to blame? How do we get out of it? Unfortunately, I won’t have a concise answer for you. Instead I wanted to take a closer look at the issues that this unfortunate moment, that could take place at any school, describes.
Two young people have a disagreement. In their interest to be the one who wins the argument, name-calling starts. For anyone who has been in an argument, the start point is the first moment YOU were affected. Think about all of the children who come running to you to settle the score for some argument and the story you get happens to start after your child threw the first insult. The age old “there wasn’t a problem until he hit me back!” This, we know, happens with adults, too. Which is why I offer it in this wide- open blog space. I’m not talking about these kids because this story was an example in what happens in life.
What are the issues? Ok for one name-calling as a mechanism to win an argument. When all else fails let’s treat the person you disagree with as less important to everyone else by making them feel small. What better way than reducing them to the what you believe is their least favored quality. Which brings me to the next issue, the least favored quality is usually the quality that is in the minority, by minority I don’t necessarily mean race and ethnicity, I mean the numerically least represented. In this school, kids of color are definitely in the minority. Kids many not know who is the majority or the minority, but they do know what is perceived of as normal or abnormal. Oftentimes, the media has a distinct role in asserting what is normal and desirable or not. We don’t not have to sit our kids down and have a lesson on who are the targeted groups in our society, because if you talked with you would probably be shocked that they do know. They won’t use words like target, but they will know words like “better,” “popular,” or better ask them which they “rather be.” Kids can tell difference as early as 4 years old, and those lessons are usually learned with some “value” attached them whether we like it or not. The issue is difference isn’t valued as much as being the same as.
Normal or not, typical or not, the heart of the issue is how we ACTIVELY value difference. If it isn’t valued, it is easy to use it as a put down. Think about the insults that abound in our society:
You’re stupid.
That’s so gay.
You’re such a retard.
You have a ghetto mentality.
That woman is such a bitch.
Clearly this isn’t a comprehensive list, and it would vary depending on your local culture.
With these terrible statements however, it’s pretty clear that difference isn’t usually valued, though there are many adults who make the concerted effort to teach their children otherwise. The problem, from how I see it, is the lesson exists outside its application.
Valuing diversity is an everyday action. It is no longer enough to say “I’m not a racist.” In a world where racism is perpetuated and played out in television and other forms of media, in educational systems, in our neighborhoods and playgroup dynamics and so on, we are just going with the river that is flowing downstream. Using the metaphor of the river flow, if you are against racism then must swim upstream, or get a boat, or get out and walk up river to be against it. Just saying you are “for diversity” is not enough to undo what is already the way our society functions. In order to not support racism, your must be decidedly anti-racist. In order to support diversity, you must actively and regularly model actions that support diversity.
One of the heartbreaks for the parents in the group was that they felt this school’s community was very supportive of diversity. So I posed the question to them- what are you doing on a daily basis to swim upstream?
Tags: anti-racism
@Karla You know what… sure!